Stop

I don't have any followers at this point so I am writing to myself.

And to myself, I say this:

Life is hard, and you miss people and you love people so much it hurts, and you get disappointed in people and you get frustrated with people and you sometimes even get mad at people. Amy, you're going to question this life and all that God has put in it for you. It's going to be confusing and your eyes are going to wander and look longingly at other people's lives, and you're going to open your ears to words and opinions that will only make you question yourself and what you believe. You're going to expect people to be happy, and they won't be. You're going to expect people to act like they care, and sorry, they won't. You're going to bang.your.head.against.the.wall. because nobody listens to anything and everybody talks about nothing. And you're going to wish that it was different, you're going to take a step back every now and again and say "What happened? Where did happiness go?"

And then Amy, then. 

Then you will turn to God and you will fall to your knees and pray to the one you so desperately, unashamedly need. Because this life is paper thin, full of empty promises and empty smiles. This life has people who will let you down and time that will pass away wasted. This life has scraped knees and broken hearts and so many moments you dream about taking back and doing over again because you squandered them, you threw them in the dirt like garbage. You so proudly thought you could just live, as if each and every breath is your own, as if you gave yourself your own life, as if you had any control.

Stop. 

You are not your own. You are not just alive. You are not just breathing, thinking, doing.

You need to stop.

And realize that this you, this very one, is beloved and sacred and so very wanted. You are desired by your King, made clean by your Savior,  rescued by your Refuge and comforted by the Lover of your Soul.



And He is the ONLY thing in this life, in your life, that is TRUE.